Ask Annie Archives 2
Astrologer Annie answers your questions from an astrological perspective. She specializes in the topics of personality, relationships, and love.
Please understand that we cannot answer all questions we receive. We receive a large volume of emails and we are sorry but time does not permit answering all or even most of them! We cannot give a full, detailed reading in this column. Also note that emails have been altered both for the sake of readability and to protect the querent’s identity.
Send Annie an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Question from a Reader: Will He Settle Down?
I hope you can help me with my question.
I have been dating “A”, an attorney, on and off for over 27 years. During that time neither of us has remarried. He seems so erratic in his work life. He is constantly on the move.
Does it seem like he will ever settle down w/one person? i.e. Me??? I wonder if he is capable of romantic love?
(birth day, time, and place supplied for both parties)
Gemini is on the cusp of As tenth house, the house of ones career or profession. He has Uranus in this house. This makes him naturally uncomfortable with the whole idea of identifying with a career or profession. A tenth house Gemini suggests that he will be restless, on the move, and make changes in his career. However, A has a Libra Sun conjunct Mercury in the second house and a Libra Mars in early third. A Mars in Libra suggests a successful career involving communications and Mercury in Libra is traditionally the sign of an attorney. So, he is in the right career! This takes care of your concerns about his work life. He might appear erratic at work, but he is in the right place. Dont be fooled by what the guy does for a living while exploring a relationship with him. His needs and behavior in the relationship arena might be quite different.
As second house Sun also suggests an extra need to possess material things like money, cars, etc. This ties in nicely with your own seventh house Capricorn need to experience some material security in a relationship. Be aware though that Pisces is on the cusp of As seventh house and therefore he might be looking for a more emotional or spiritual relationship. Both of you can satisfy each others needs.
Your Taurus Sun is conjunct Mercury in the eleventh house. This suggests that you have a strong desire to have and live amongst friends. You have a Leo Moon conjunct Pluto and Jupiter. You are expansive and instinctive with your emotions. When I say expansive, I mean, emotionally, you will probably go the extra mile for a friend. You have Mars in Cancer in the twelfth house. This suggests that you might have a suppressed need to express yourself physically in a relationship. You will find true happiness when you do this. A has his Moon in Cancer in the eleventh conjunct his Saturn. This suggests that on an emotional level, A might help bring out your suppressed need for physical expression in a relationship. However, since his Saturn also conjuncts your Mars, unless A is a self-aware individual, he might end up throttling your natural urges in bed. You might find yourself tucking those unexplored urges further away! Watch out for that and make sure that doesn’t happen! With your moon-mars combination you come across as emotional and instinctive in relationships. He comes across as emotional but not as instinctive (more rational, thinker) as you are.
You have North-South node in the first-seventh house. This suggests you want to experience harmony, happiness, fairness, and support in a relationship. A has an eleventh-fifth house combination which suggests that he has a deep need to be loved and adored, and share the limelight with someone who returns his passion. Give him the love and adoration he wants, along with a willingness to share his slightly unconventional ideas, and you will find him a better partner. With your Leo moon you are well equipped to appreciate and give him what he needs. Overall, the two of you can do a lot together. He is perfectly capable of settling down with you! Good luck and don’t hesitate to ask me for any details.
Question from a Reader: What do my Grand Trines mean?
Hi Annie! I have a very unusual chart with more than one grand trine. What does this mean? What can you tell me?
(birth day, time, and place supplied)
Your chart is interesting, with quite a few favorable aspects. You have a grand trine involving the Moon, Neptune, and Chiron. The Moon is in Cancer, Neptune in Scorpio, and Chiron in Pisces. Although your Saturn is in Pisces, orbs are too wide for a grand trine with the Moon and Neptune.
Your powerful Leo Sun trines your Sagittarius Ascendant. This suggests that you have a mind of your own, a powerful personality, and you win friends easily. Your grand trine indicates that you have a rich inner world. You are creative and can bring about emotional healing in the people around you. You are probably good at solving emotionally-charged family issues for others!
You have three planets Moon, Mars, and Venus in the seventh house. Mars and Venus are conjunct, and both in turn trine Saturn. A preponderance of planets in the seventh house, the house of relationships, suggests that you probably feel incomplete alone. You are not passive or feel dependent. More likely, you like taking the initiative in forming relationships. Ill go so far as to say that you might even end up encouraging your partner to be emotionally dependent on you.
Your Leo Sun is in the eighth house, which suggests a life of constant change. You probably enjoy making changes to your life. To others, your life may seem to be in crisis mode ever so often. But, the change is good and a way of life for you!
You have Mercury conjunct Uranus in the ninth house, which is the house of new ideas. You are comfortable with new ideas and often reject traditional ways of thinking. You react to new ideas logically, and reject those which don’t fit for you! Travel is or will be a rewarding experience for you.
Question from a Reader: Is this Relationship Worth Pursuing?
Annie, I am a huge fan of nodal contacts in synastry and wondered what you thought of my own situation. I have been drawn to the same man for the last few years though we have never met (he’s a friend of a friend whom I have seen pictures of, videos of and heard tales of…etc.) I managed to get his birth info (birth day, time, and place supplied).My own is (birth day, time and place supplied).The synastry chart alone shows intriguing nodal connections. I am especially curious about my Chiron/his n. node conjunction. The composite chart is more confusing to me because it involves a mixture of energies and I have not studied this kind of chart for as long. Karmically speaking, do you think this relationship is worth pursuing? Thank you! If the charts look a bit sparse, plug in some asteroids (the major four and Varuna . 🙂
Your Chiron conjuncting his North Node, especially since your Venus also squares this point, is indeed an intriguing connection. Notice that your Sun in Capricorn forms a trine to his North Node, and your Mars conjunct Jupiter in Virgo also form a trine. Your nodal axis contacts his Sun trine Mars, with his Sun conjunct your South Node. These connections imply a strong, intuitive feeling of knowing each other and being drawn to each other–many would call it a karmic tie. Notice also that your Moons are in virtually the same degree of Gemini. All of these interaspects suggest to me an emotional connection.
I use and swear by composite charts, but the distinction between the composite chart and synastry aspects is important to understand. The composite chart reveals the energies of a couple. It shows how things would play out if you and this man were together in a relationship. Although the composite chart may reveal some clues as to how and why two people got together in the first place, it is more indicative of the relationship’s energies. For example, if the Sun were conjunct the Moon in the composite chart, but there were no interaspects between the Sun and the Moon in synastry, the powerful pull to get together in the first place may not be strong. However, if these fictional people were placed together, for example through a working situation, there would be a strong feeling of connection, an easy flow of energy, and a strong sense of identity. This is oversimplified but it is an example of the differences between these two relationship tools in Astrology.
The composite chart of you and this man contains some powerful aspects, including a grand trine between the Sun, Moon, Mars, and Pluto. This would suggest an instinctive understanding of each other if you were a couple–the relationship would be transformative in a pleasant way.
Question from a Reader: Relationship Problems
I’m hoping you can help shed some light on a relationship that I have been involved with on and off for some time now. He is a Cappy (birth date given) and I am a Leo (birth date, time, place given). We have an intense connection but our relationship has been push/pull for so long now that I don’t know if it’s worth trying to salvage. I know that I’m not the easiest person to relate to – but this man baffles me. I know he is crazy about me but he is so inconsistent. This relationship has helped me grow immensely but I just am not sure if I can hang in there much longer. I love him immensely, but don’t know if we are ever going to make this work. Thanks!
You have 3 personal planets in Leo: Sun in Leo, Mercury in Leo, and Mars in Leo. However, you also have a strong Pisces-Neptune signature: your Moon is in Pisces, and your Sun, Mercury, and Venus each square Neptune (which rules Pisces); while your Mars trines the planet. Another strong influence in your chart is Gemini: you have a Gemini Ascendant, and your “chart ruler” (Mercury) is found in the 3rd house, Gemini’s natural domain.
Looking at your chart, I see a friendly, somewhat moody, and very forgiving personality. Although you may have bursts of temper and you can be personally demanding and emotionally dramatic at times, in the long run you will “put up with” a lot from the people you love. In terms of relationships, the Neptune-Pisces influence in your chart may get you into conundrums if it is not handled well. Others may view your compassion as some form of weakness, finding it easy to take advantage of you. Even those people who are not explicitly “bullies” may easily find your buttons, so to speak.
At the root of this possible problem is a tendency to swing from idealizing your partners (that is, seeing them in the ways you would like to see them) to finding too much fault with them. You may have temper tantrums, no matter your age, yet you always come around. Something that can help this kind of thing is learning to put your foot down when you truly feel used–and keeping it down. This last part is more than likely difficult for you! You have a streak of insecurity that may be difficult for you to deal with at times. There is a part of you that is a “hopeless” romantic, wanting to find good in everything and everyone. The problem is that you may gloss over problems at times, and you end up suffering. You may give too much and then feel used and misunderstood.
“Cappy” has his Sun in Capricorn, Moon in Libra, Mercury in Capricorn, Venus in Aquarius conjunct Saturn, and Mars in Capricorn. Probably the most difficult for you to handle of these configurations is his Venus in Aquarius conjunct Saturn, which are opposite your Sun and Mercury. He has a strong Capricorn-Saturn influence in his chart, suggesting a personality that feels quite responsible for the people he loves. However, it can be difficult for fiery Leo to understand the Venus-Saturn in Aquarius in his chart–his love nature is sporadic (Aquarius) on a day-to-day level, yet he sticks around (Saturn). You may be exasperated by his tendency to be quite indifferent at times.
A strong connection between the two of you can be found in his Chiron conjunct your Moon. You also have some rather pleasant and bonding contacts in your composite chart. However, a rather difficult configuration is also found in the composite chart — a Grand Square involving the Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto. No wonder this relationship confuses you! On the one hand, you have some warm, sensual, energetic, and loving exchanges; on the other hand, emotional needs can be blocked, creating a frustrating tension between the two of you.
The only thing I can do is “confirm” astrologically that this relationship has some intensely satisfying and just as intensely unsatisfying elements to it; and offer the advice to work on the difficult areas if you want to persevere. Every relationship requires “work”, and this relationship is in definite need of clarity. You will both need to open up the lines of communication about your emotions, and work hard at being clear with each other. During the good times, it may be tempting to just enjoy them to the fullest, but the difficult parts of your connection may be glossed over in the process, and then they can rear their ugly little heads when you least expect it. In other words, the tendency to swing from intensely difficult times to intensely wonderful moments should be nipped in the bud. Taking the time to work on your problems during the “good times” might do wonders for you both. Try to let go of the fear that if you don’t just sit back and enjoy the good times with each other you may find too much to “hate” about the relationship. Sustaining and nourishing that fear will only serve to “nourish” the negative patterns in your relationship–which necessarily means they will grow. Letting go of that fear will result in the ability to see the relationship for what it is–after which you will be better equipped to know whether it is worth salvaging.
I wish you all the best, S. Please write to me if you have any questions about this reading.
Question from a Reader: “Scorpio Trying To Rebirth”
Hello Annie. Currently I am going through yet a second divorce after being married for just over a year, she’s a Leo (full birth data given). She is currently pursuing a relationship with a mutual friend that was acquired during the 6 year relationship with my wife. I have had many an opportunity to move on but I still find that I can’t let her go right now. In a very unhealthy way I hold on to hope that one day she will come back and we can try yet again.
I’m feeling incredibly lost and lonely. To add to this I am struggling with this incredible feeling of “needing a change”. In true fashion I have quit my programming job, terminated dozens of relationships with friends, etc. and essentially “house cleaned”. I am incredibly smart, intelligent, good-looking, and very interesting to say the least! I have so many positives that it is hard to justify the negativity that I hold onto in my life.
Now with all that information in mind: I have a basic mentality that I preach to everyone in my life – The reason it can be so hard to find the path your on in life is because you’re already on it. I can solve and fix things for others with relative ease yet I can’t seem to listen to my own advice. I have been looking my whole life for something that I have yet to find. I belong to something out there yet I don’t know what it is. I’m tired of literally dumping everything I know in my life and “starting completely over” every 5 to 7 years. A common thing heard amongst my peers that know me when speaking to a new member of the “group” is, “You think you know him but just about the time you think you have it all figured out – he’s different” Is their something wrong with me?
Thank you for your time.
You are a Scorpio with a Moon in Gemini, and Libra Ascendant. Your chart is complex, likely reflecting a character that is full of twists and turns! You have Uranus rising, almost exactly conjunct your Libra Ascendant. This suggests that you have an original presentation of yourself to others, and with Libra here, it’s likely that your “quirkiness” and dynamism are largely well-received. Uranus forms a trine with your Gemini Moon, endowing you with unusual perception and intuition that seems to spring up from “out of the blue”. With Uranus in such a powerful position in your chart–and if your birth time is very accurate, it’s just a little behind the Ascendant–your life path is unlikely to be standard or common. The need for change and stimulation runs high in your basic character. You are very attracted to anything that spells out progress or advancement of the human race–you envision a world in which everyone is treated with equality and fairness. Ironically, those with prominent Uranus in their charts have such a powerful urge for equality that they end up alienating the people most dear and close to them. This generally stems from a deep need for personal freedom and growth.
Uranus rising also suggests a feeling of being “special” or “different”. I suggest reading up on Uranus and the sign it rules (Aquarius) in order to get a better understanding of this exciting, electric, and spontaneous planet. Your tendency to leave things–and people–behind sounds very much like Uranus. Uranus’ influence in your chart might explain your urgent impulses to strip away the old and to try out totally new “life paths”. Your desire for personal freedom will be stronger than most.
However, you also have an equally–if not more–powerful Saturn in your chart. It is in opposition to your Venus, Mercury, Neptune, and Jupiter; and in square to your Mars in late Aquarius. Saturn’s energies often act to limit and restrict. In fact, the “negativity” you mentioned in your email may be largely due to the Saturn influence in your chart. Negativity generally stems from fear of loss of control. Others may be baffled by your strongly independent nature, and your simultaneous need for stability and familiarity in your relationships. You may have a tendency to swing from idealizing the people you love to seeing them as blocks to your personal freedom.
Your Leo ex-wife has a very independent personality. She not only has her Sun in Leo, her Venus and Ascendant are in Leo as well; and she has a Moon in Aries. Her Mars in Aquarius opposes her Sun and Venus, and her North Node of the Moon is found in the 7th house. These suggest a character that is very much “in love with love”, but that may have a fear of being too dependent on others in personal relationships. She is proud and strong-willed and likely quite temperamental (her Moon is opposite Uranus). Your connection with her seems to be quite Uranian–your composite (relationship) chart with her features Venus conjunct Uranus.
You are coming out of a Saturn transit conjunct your Moon, a time when you may have felt very much unappreciated and unsupported on an emotional level. You are entering a new phase with Uranus transiting conjunct your Mars and square your Venus–suggesting that the changes in your life may feel like they are coming from the outside (thrust upon you) rather than from the inside. However, this is more of an illusion than anything. Transiting Uranus conjunct your Mars in the fifth house suggests that creative urges that may have been heretofore dormant are “awakened” and demanding your complete attention! Your passions are stirred up, and you might find that you are more impatient than usual–all of this inner “stirring” can amount to frustration until you’ve found an outlet for the excess energy. The year ahead is likely to be one that is filled with new beginnings. It will be important to find constructive outlets for your creativity so that your energies aren’t scattered. Career changes are likely–this will be a time when you will need to truly express yourself in the work you do (anything less than that simply won’t do!).
There’s absolutely nothing “wrong” with you–yours is a complicated chart, but it’s certainly not “unworkable”. Accepting that part of you that needs to break down old structures in order to move forward, and focusing those energies on constructive lines, may be the key to feeling on top of your life. Self-acceptance, coupled with the desire to grow and learn, can be intensely liberating. Please feel free to e-mail me with any further questions, or for clarification of any of the topics I have touched upon here.
Question from a Reader: Relationship Problems
For the past 2 years I’ve been intimate with a male friend of mine, who I
have some sort of mad devotion to for seemingly no reason at all. He is a
Taurus w/ Cancer Moon and I’m a Libra with a Scorpio Moon. I’ve studied our chart on Astrodienst and there is as much REALLY GOOD things going on astrologically as there are REALLY BAD things happening. Indeed, I feel all of this in our interactions. SOMETHING is always going to happen with us, but you never know what.
But the one chart topper that blows them all away is that we have the cursed Saturn Square Mars. His Saturn is in Cancer and my Sun and Mars are in Libra. Also, his Moon and Venus are in Cancer. So really, his damned Saturn is blocking a whole lot of stuff here, wouldn’t you say?
And I can tell you, that stuff about subtle power trips and demeaning the
other person is really true. It seems to happen most when we’re out together socially and he’s not cooperating/not acknowledging/disapproving of me in some way or another. Half the time, I find myself on opposite sides of the room as him, to avoid unpleasant interactions. The other half of the time we get along splendidly. Do you think I should give up the dream of one day being his wife, because it will be THAT MISERABLE? As much as I daydream about this, it also scares the hell out of me!
Thanks for listening. 🙂
You didn’t provide birth data details, so I can’t help shed too much more light on your situation. I believe you were referring to our article, Mars-Saturn in Synastry. Yes, this can be an enormously frustrating cross-aspect in Synastry. The key to being able to work through these difficult aspects will be for both of you to not only be AWARE of the troublesome chemistry that this aspect creates, but also to consciously practice some form of counteraction. For example, the Saturn person (him) should recognize that he somehow fears the energies you are expressing. In this case, your Mars is in Libra, so it comes as little surprise that the power trips occur when you are socializing. He would most likely find your style of interacting with others threatening in some way, and thus, the difficult behavior. The games he is playing stem from this fear, and are subconsciously meant to keep you in check, and to keep you HIS. Since you are the Mars person in this interaction, your “job” is to try to understand where he is coming from. You likely have a fear of being controlled by him – a subtle sense that he will come down on you too easily. The natural reaction of Mars is to argue — especially with Mars in Libra! Arguing will get you nowhere fast with this kind of chemistry. In fact, it may get you in deeper. Your anger will only act to make him more defensive. The key will be to talk about it, without arguing. It can be tough, especially when the Saturn person puts up walls.
I agree that this is a difficult aspect to work with. Relationships can be tough even without these kinds of interplays. However, if you think the relationship is salvageable in most other ways, then don’t give up! If he is unwilling to talk this through, however, the situation might only turn from worse to ugly.
Question from a Reader: “Can Astrology offer any hope…?”
What weird voodoo in my chart (if any) is keeping me in a vicious cycle of nothingness???? No matter how hard I try to break the cycle, how many things I try — nothing that is life-transformational ever comes to fruition. I am exhausted. Can astrology offer any hope for a break or shed some light on this seemingly never-ending life conundrum? I’ve had about 5 years of it now — to include a bout of homelessness amongst other odd and confusing horrors to my former middle-class sensibilities. No doubt I have learned some valuable life lessons, but I am reaching the end of my sanity-rope, methinks. Thank you so much for your time.
One of the most rewarding and uplifting benefits of Astrology is its ability to offer hope. When we feel “stuck” in vicious cycles and seemingly meaningless periods in our lives, Astrology can offer light at the end of the tunnel.
Let me begin with a mini-reading of your natal chart before moving on to transits. You are a Sagittarius with a Virgo Moon, and your Sun and Moon are in square aspect. This aspect presents some conflicts between your self-expression and your emotional needs. You have a strong independent streak. You may find, however, that whenever you express your independence, your emotions and attachment to the past block you somehow.
Your hunger for life-transformational experiences is likely due to your Jupiter in Scorpio rising. You, more than most, have a strong dislike for the superficial and humdrum. You need (hunger) for a life that has deep meaning. Jupiter opposes Mars in Taurus in the 7th, suggesting that you have a conflicting need for security and steadiness. This conflict is seen throughout your chart! It is a simultaneous need for security and experience.
That you seem to have broken out of a simple, “middle-class” existence is probably a very good thing in the long term. You have Uranus just behind your Midheaven, and Chiron at your 4th house cusp. This suggests a life “calling” that breaks from tradition. The trines in your chart show your talents — those things that come naturally to you, so natural that you may not even be aware of just how talented you really are. Your Sun, Venus, and Mercury are all in trine to this elevated Uranus. This endows you with an unusual perception and understanding of others, extraordinary intuition, and an ability to “see” a progressive, non-traditional way of life. You haven’t mentioned career questions, but your chart suggests to me that you could be a consultant/healer in some way, and do very well in that position.
You have Jupiter rising in Scorpio, giving you an incredible resilience that is truly admirable. With Jupiter there, and your Mercury conjunct Saturn, you are probably very witty and sarcastic, and others will enjoy your huge sense of humor. Sharing your unique life experiences with others, perhaps through writing about them, may be very rewarding for you. You are a proud, original person with much to offer others.
Your restlessness and independent character should not be suppressed. Any attempts to go down the beaten track in career and home life may very well fail for you. Your need for security may be at odds with this, so the trick is to find a happy middle ground. I am confident, seeing the many talents you possess in your chart, that you will be able to forge out a lifestyle that is both unique and secure. The road to finding this middle ground may not be easy, but you will get there.
With Mercury conjunct Saturn, your worst enemy may be a negative way of thinking that is perhaps compulsive. Your biggest ally is your perceptive understanding of people and the world, and a powerful sense of humor that will keep you strong and resilient. With Jupiter opposing Mars, you may find yourself trying to force situations, overestimating your energies, and ramming your head against the wall in the process.
You have Neptune conjunct the Ascendant in the 12th house. This suggests that you are strongly spiritual, but you may easily deny this aspect of you in the face of others. Your Mercury-Saturn means you communicate in a more down-to-earth, practical, and sarcastic manner, keeping others from knowing just how spiritual you are. Finding self-expression through spiritual or artistic avenues will certainly enrich your life.
Since 1999, you have been going through a Pluto transit to your Sun. This transit suggests a rather radical alteration of your basic identity. Old ways of life will have been discarded, and new ways can seem to have been forced upon you. Since your Sun is in Sagittarius, Sagittarian traits may have been emphasized — essentially, your independence and thirst for knowledge and experience have been awakened. Since this transit is occurring in your 2nd house, radical changes in your income, material goods, and value systems will have been likely. The plus side to this transit is the opportunity to learn valuable life lessons about self-worth and self-reliance. When we are seemingly forced into situations when we feel insecure about our basic needs, we can learn about what we truly value in a non-material sense. Pluto is conjuncting Venus by transit, and squaring Moon, this year and the next. It is quite possible that you will fall deeply in love during this period, since your Venus rules your 7th house of partnership. Alternatively, you will begin a partnership that has powerful effects on your life. Dealing with issues from the past is likely, and this should be a time for intense self-discovery and healing.
Your chart shows an original, strong personality. You have many, many talents. I wish you all the best, and welcome any more questions you may have.
Question from a Reader: “Are we Soulmates?”
Hi Annie Would you be able to tell me if you think my boyfriend Yasser and i are soul mates by our charts? Thanks in advance, mardi
Both you and Yasser have a lot of fire in your charts–your Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars are in Aries, and your Ascendant is in Leo. Yasser’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars–all of his personal planets–are in Sagittarius. Together, you could be a dynamic and powerful combination; you can also argue plenty! Both of you are strongly independent individuals, and very creative too!
Together, you have to power to accomplish a lot. Your emotions may get a little trampled upon in the process, however. Your rather sensitive Virgo moon can feel a bit left out at times. You may instinctively find Yasser’s optimism and plans a little bit too large and lacking in practicality, and the result can be you feeling insecure about your relationship. However, you have a lot to learn from each other. Yasser, in fact, is a natural teacher. He likely loves to philosophize, is attracted to adventure and travel, and is a lifelong student.
Your styles of loving are very similar–both of you are direct and passionate, quick and athletic. Not everyone understands this style of romance, so you are lucky that you found each other. Some intimacy may be missing in this department, but your mutual love of excitement in romance can lead to plenty of adventure, experimentation, and good times.
You likely find each other very exciting, if not a little erratic. Yasser may sometimes find you baffling and elusive. With time, he could find this threatening in some way. Yasser’s Saturn figures rather prominently in the synastry of your relationship. This can mean that Yasser may attempt to tame you at some point. At first, your reactions to this may be to give him some control. However, you could easily begin to resent this over time. Your personal freedom is important to you, and it will be especially important that Yasser understands this and accepts you for who you are. Compromise is good, but never at the expense of character development.
Your composite chart is powerful. You are likely to have lively discussions and debates that easily escalate into arguments. However, you will learn a lot about life through each other. Both of you are enthusiastic, warm-blooded people. As long as you keep using your stronger qualities–forthrightness and honesty–with each other, your relationship will be exciting and growth-oriented.
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