Ask Annie Archives 3
******These are archives of the Ask Annie Advice Column. For current questions, go BACK to the current Ask Annie questions.********
Astrologer Annie answers your questions from an astrological perspective. She specializes in the topics of personality, relationships, and love.
If you have a question for Annie, please be specific and include your full birth data (include birthday, time and place for best results). Fictional names are fine. We may publish both your question and an astrologer’s answer in this column, NOT your email address. We adhere to a strict privacy policy regarding email addresses.
Please understand that we cannot answer all questions we receive. We receive a large volume of emails and we are sorry but time does not permit answering all or even most of them! We cannot give a full, detailed reading in this column. Also note that emails have been altered both for the sake of readability and to protect the querent’s identity.
Send Annie an email at askannie@cafeastrology.com
******These are archives of the Ask Annie Advice Column. For current questions, go BACK to the current Ask Annie questions.********
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Question from a Reader: What do natal chart aspects to the composite chart mean? Hi Annie, I just started seeing this guy and looked at our composite chart. Is there any significance to having his natal Venus conjunct our composite Mars, and my natal Mars conjunct our composite Venus?
It seems like it should mean something; I’m just not sure what!
Annie’s Answer: I do find these conjunctions between personal planets in your individual natal charts and personal planets in the composite chart to be highly significant. When we compare the composite chart to individual natal charts, we can see what kind of impact the relationship itself (as represented by the composite chart) has on the people involved. I discuss this kind of comparison in our article, The Composite Chart. His natal Venus conjunct the composite Mars can mean that he is entranced by the energy of the relationship, and your Mars conjunct the composite Venus is another testament that the relationship rocks your world, so to speak. Both aspects are energizing, empowering ones, and they can also point to a powerful sexual energy. Our natal Mars represents what fires us up, and your Mars conjunct composite Venus can also indicate some frustration on your part with regards to how you two relate on a romantic level. Whatever the case may be, these direct contacts from your individual natal charts to your composite chart suggest that the relationship impacts both of you in a highly personal way. They suggest that each of you is intimately connected to the relationship, which means this relationship is significant in both of your lives.
I would consider these aspects strengthening ones with regards to your bond, and it is a good sign that both of you have these contacts to the composite chart, because sometimes we find that if it goes only one way, one person is more attached to the relationship than the other. I also see that composite Pluto is exactly conjunct your Sun-Moon midpointanother indication that this relationship could have a significant impact on your life.
I hope this helps!
—Annie
Question from a Reader: What will Progressed Venus Retrograde mean to me? I have tried to find information regarding when progressed Venus goes retrograde, but it is limited. I am 47, not married and am wondering how progressed Venus going retrograde in my chart next year will affect me. I am hoping it won’t mean I will be less likely to attract a significant other. (Full birth data supplied). I appreciate any insight you can give. Thank you so much. T Annie’s Answer: T,
Planets “changing direction” by progression (that is, changing from direct to retrograde motion or vice versa) are significant in that they reflect shifts in perception and focus in a person’s life. You are currently experiencing a progressed Venus station, as progressed Venus slows down before it begins its retrograde motion. When a planet is stationary, its energy is more focused and potent. This can certainly represent a time in your life when Venus matters become a powerful focus for you.
How we feel about retrogrades will depend a lot on how and where we learn about them in the first place. We can easily get the general feeling that they have a negative meaning, especially when we hear statements such as “don’t sign a contract when Mercury is retrograde” or “avoid starting a new relationship when Venus is retrograde”. When a planet is retrograde, it is actually closer to the Earth. Its energies then symbolically become more personalcloser to our hearts, so to speak. It is more challenging to be objective in these matters. A retrograde Venus period might be considered a time when we pull back from social contact, or when opportunities for social contact decrease. However, I do not view them in this light. I consider it a shift in focus and perception. Venus matters become more potent for you. You become more sensitive to Venus energies, recognizing your Venusian needs more acutely. At first, you may feel somewhat isolated as you adjust to the shift. You may look around you and feel that “everyone else” seems to be finding love more easily than you are. This is truly a personal perceptionas you become more deeply aware of your needs, your sensitivity is heightened. Progressed Venus turning retrograde represents, more than anything, a shift in your perception. It does not actually decrease your opportunities for establishing love bonds, unless you choose to hide from these opportunities.
When Mercury, for example, turns retrograde, it will not shift to direct motion for approximately 20 days. With secondary progressions, this translates to 20 years (“day-for-a-year”). Venus’ retrograde period is even longer. Depending on when progressed Venus turns retrograde, it can stay that way for the rest of a person’s life. Is it a life sentence? Hardly. I believe that the years when a progressed planet is gearing up to change direction and the first year or so when it makes the shift simply represent a time when the energies of that planet become more deeply significant to a person. These years can be a period of adjustment as that person is faced with this shift in focus.
After looking at your natal chart and progressed chart, I feel that this period of time represents a shift in your focus and sensitivity to Venus matters. Your attention to these matters to date may suddenly seem superficial, as you approach them with more depth of feeling and subjectivity. Natally, Venus rules your 5th and 9th houses, so in addition the general matters associated with Venus (social, love, money, etc.), this shift and sensitivity can manifest in fifth house matters (perhaps your previous attitude towards love affairs and dating, children, speculation, creativity) and 9th house matters (your personal philosophy, attitude towards learning, traveling, adventure, and reaching out). These matters may become more deeply personal to you.
I know a person who experienced a progressed Venus turning retrograde when he was in his early 40’s. Every chart is set up differently, of course, but I can tell you that in his case, the years of the Venus station represented a time when he changed his attitude towards love relationships. He began to take them more seriously and, over time, his adamant desire to remain a bachelor was replaced with an equally powerful desire to get married. He did get married, not long after progressed Venus turned retrograde.
Natally, my Venus is on the retrograde side of a station. In progressions, Venus turned direct when I was a baby. However, Venus stationary-retrograde is my natal “stamp”something that I live with my whole life. I can certainly tell you that, to date, it has not limited my opportunities to find love in absolute terms. However, at different points in my life, my attitude towards love and relationship certainly impacted my opportunities. Because a person with a natal Venus retrograde-station takes social contacts and relationships more seriously, and is therefore more sensitive to them than most people, he or she may limit their opportunities, but this would be self-imposed. If this person elects to withdraw as a way to manage his or her feelings, opportunities can most certainly be limited. An example is a woman who, after a break-up, essentially went into social hiding as a way of managing her intense feelings. She told herself she would never love again. However, a choice is always involved. The big difference between a natal retrograde Venus and a progressed retrograde Venus is, perhaps, the time the native has to deal with and manage it. The shift from direct to retrograde Venus in your life is, and will be, a time of adjustment, when you must manage your changing attitudes towards love and relationship. How you deal with it will make all the difference.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: Does this Friendship Move Forward? Hi Annie and Adam =))
Please give me your professional astrological insight in this friendship…(full birth data supplied).
My question is simple: We’ve been friends for about two years now. It’s been escalating gradually, which I think is great! As I’ve gotten to know him, I’ve realized that this is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with! But things just seem to be at a standstill; we like spending time together, that’s a fact, but we’re not officially “a couple”. I’m too afraid to say anything as to letting him know how I feel, so can you please advise me? Does this friendship move forward to a committed relationship?
I look forward to your response,
M
Annie’s Answer:
M,
I can absolutely see why there are such strong friendship ties between the two of you. You have a not-so-common large number of pleasing connections in your synastry (chemistry)! We cannot go into depth in this column, so I needed to zero in on your specific question. What I did was overlay your chart over your friend’s chart, and I found that your Sun conjunct Pluto, as well as Mars and Vertex, fall in your friend’s 11th house of friendship. This indeed suggests that he thinks of you as a good friend. The eleventh house is a house that resists one-on-one commitment. However, in a more balanced overlay, it can simply point to a strong bond that is not as possessive as many relationships can be (on his side). Your Moon (and Jupiter) fall into his fourth house, and your North Node is conjunct his Moon. These two factors suggest that your friend does feel a strong emotional connection to you. What may be a source of some intimacy problems is your Saturn overlaying his 8th house, in combination with your strong activation of his 11th house. He may feel a little shy or perhaps awkward around you when it comes to making a commitment. At the same time, he is more than likely very forthcoming and comfortable sharing his emotions with you in a general sense with the North Node-Moon connection and your Moon overlaying his fourth. As a result, you may be getting some real mixed signals from him!
Most of what I have commented on above is very sensitive to the accuracy of his time of birth. You didn’t mention how certain you are of his time of birth, and that is why I point this out. Now, from your point of view, and in stark contrast to your Saturn overlaying his 8th house, his Moon overlays your eighth house. This suggests your eagerness and willingness to share intimacy with your friend. Most of his planets fall in your “yin” houses, which suggests that you feel somewhat emotionally dependent on him. I certainly think that the two of you “see” each other differently, and that your expectations from the relationship are different than his. This does not mean the relationship is doomed, by all means, but it does point to potential compatibility issues and misunderstandings. There are a few strong Neptune interchart aspects, as well as Sun tightly conjunct Neptune in the composite chart, which add to this theme. The relationship may be very difficult to define in real terms, which can be a source of frustration for both of you.
There are a lot of Saturn interchart aspects between you, and this gives me a sense of the relationship being a karmic one, and at the very least rather long-standing. My feeling from looking at your charts is that you may need to be the one to make the first move with regards to taking the relationship further. Coming on strong in this respect may not be the best route quite yet, but gently nudging the relationship in the direction you would like it to go is probably a good idea. This way, you will get a better sense of where things are headed. Clear communication between the two of you is a must, and is something to strive for, but it can be a difficult thing to try to enforce all at once considering things have been at a standstill. I’ve outlined some of the potential challenges in your relationship above, mainly because I think it’s best to feel “equipped” and to avoid idealizing relationships so much that we gloss over problem areas. However, I see many, many strengths as well. There’s a lot of potential here.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: What are my Career Prospects?
Hi Annie,
Just want to ask questions regarding my career prospects. I am in great trouble. Whatever thing I put my hand into just turns out to be rubbish. I am not able to do anything in regard to job, career, education. I am from India and moved to Australia in 2003.
(Full birth data given).
Can you please tell me when will I be able to find a job and till when will I fail in every aspect of my life. I am a bloody loser. Please help me. Please tell me what’s in my future.
Thanks,
s
Annie’s Answer: S,
First off, I want to assure you that you are a talented person, and things will turn around for you. I do not believe that Astrology can predict what will happen in the future in certain terms. I believe in free will. I do watch the movements of the planets and compare them to natal charts (what we are born with). In other words, I do practice predictive Astrology. However, I firmly believe that although we are given definite opportunities and liabilities (so to speak), we have options. As planets move forward, they form special relationships with the planets and houses of our natal charts. As they do, energies in our charts are triggered in special ways. What we do with these energies is in our hands.
We frequently receive emails asking for specific dates for marriage or for getting a job. Sometimes questions are as specific as wanting to know if someone will pass a particular exam they are taking. Although I do dabble in horary astrology, which attempts to answer specific questions, I am not an expert in the field. What I can do, however, is look at a person’s potentials and the energies that will be prominent and highlighted in the future.
If I knew what would happen to my own life in specific terms, I wouldn’t be surprised by my comes to pass in my life, yet I cannot tell you how many times I have been taken by “surprise” in my lifetime. I cannot predict my future with any certainty, and I cannot predict others’ futures with any certainty. I do not believe that our lives are written for us. I wouldn’t want to believe that either! I personally believe that we are born with definite potentials, and the energies we are born with, as evident in our natal charts, will unfold in various ways that cannot be predicted in advance with any certainty as we move forward.
I opened this response to your question with the assurance that things will turn around for you. I say this with certainty because we are always given reprieves in our lives. What we do with these reprieves is individual.
One of the first things that caught my eye in your chart, S, is North Node conjunct your Midheaven. You may want to read the interpretation for North Node in the 10th house (although it is technically in your 9th house, it is so close to the Midheaven – the cusp of the 10th house – that I would read the position as North Node in the 10th house). You can also read the interpretation of North Node in Virgo. This position suggests to me that you will face some struggles with your sense of security, which may be holding you back from putting yourself “out there” in terms of career. Try not to let emotions drag you down when it comes to finding your place in the world through a career. You may be inclined to avoid schedules and organizing your life to the point that you feel confused about where you are headed. If you are currently out of work, the best advice I can give is to find any honest job you can, first and foremost. Know that you have years ahead of you to change your career path. If you are working at an honest job, whatever it is, then you can build confidence in the very fact that you are at the very least making your way. Then you can brainstorm about what exactly it is you should be doing.
I see in your chart that transiting Saturn is making its way up towards your Midheaven presently and in the years to come. This means you are building, and you are moving up. Saturn just entered your eighth house. Whenever Saturn begins its transit through a house, we can feel a little overwhelmed. In your case Saturn has been transiting conjunct to your Jupiter, which is your chart ruler. With Saturn transiting your chart ruler and the beginning of your eighth house, it is quite “normal” to feel unsupported for a short time. You may feel like the world is a rather cold place, and that you are going it alone. However, this is temporary, and even necessary in your growth. As Saturn makes its way through your eighth, you will begin to recognize your own strength. This feeling of being overwhelmed is truly temporary. When we are down or overwhelmed with our lives, it is hard to see the end to our current struggles. What seems difficult now, you will pull strength from soon.
Venus rules both your 10th house of career and 6th house of work, and is found in Libra in the 10th, conjunct Mars and Pluto. When the sign Libra is prominent with significators of work and career, there is often some lethargy (others might call it laziness) unless one feels the spark or desire to get going. Mars and Pluto with Venus in Libra should give you some oomph, but your desire needs to be sparked. This suggests to me that you may not be giving your career your all because you don’t feel that spark and motivation. I mentioned the North Node issues above, and I feel, from looking at your chart, that structuring and organizing your life in little ways right now will be the best way to handle your problems in the short term. Take care of details, get a routine going, and try to separate your emotions from your career goals at this time. Once you have the little things tended to, a regular pay check, and a feeling that you are contributing in a steady way, you will be in a better position to get in touch with what you really want to do. There is time for that! You were born under a full moon, and I have found that many people with this Sun opposition Moon aspect struggle with their direction in early adulthood because they feel pulled in too many directions. It can be challenging to focus on any one path. Sometimes it stems from having parents who disagreed on what they expected of the child.
Deciding on a career path can be a complex thing. This is where interaction is necessary in Astrology. I could start throwing around possibilities, but would prefer to know a bit about what you have tried, what you know doesn’t work for you, and what you have considered. Please send me an email with this background and I will try to work with you a little in this fashion.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: What Am I? I’m fairly new to this astrology thing, anyhow let me tell you a little about me. I am a female born (full birth data supplied). I know that I am a Taurus, and my planet which I heard is Venus, but what I am confused about and been trying to understand is, I heard that we also have another planet we’re connected to, because of our birth. I found out that it possibly might be Mercury in Taurus. I believe it was April 21st to may 15th to be in Mercury, but I may be wrong. I saw the answer on the internet. But I wanted to be sure. Can you tell me if I’m correct? And if not, can you tell me? So far my characteristics for Mercury match very well, but you never know, there is sooo much to read about astrology, it can be confusing, at least for me that is. Can you tell me when the date starts with the planet Mercury in Taurus and when it ends also? Thanks for your time, I would GREATLY appreciate your time, and whatever information that you can give to me. Take care, and have a blessed day…
–J
Annie’s Answer:
J,
Astrology is so vast a subject that it is bound to be confusing for newcomers. You are certainly not alone! From your birth information, I can tell you the following: You are a Taurus, as you already know, which really means your Sun is in Taurus.
Taking into consideration the day, year, time, and place of your birth, we can determine where other planets were when you were born. Your Moon is in Taurus, your Mercury is in Gemini, your Venus is in Aries, and your Mars is in Cancer, for example. It is easy for people to determine Sun signs because the Sun is in the same sign at approximately the same time each year. Therefore, we can quickly come to the conclusion that, for example, if you were born near the end of April of ANY year, you are a Taurus (that is, your Sun is in Taurus). Because the Moon, Mercury, Venus, and so forth, do not have the same relationship with our calendar and are not as regular in their path through the signs, we cannot do the same thing with them. That is why it is necessary to refer to tables, use chart services, or to consult an astrologer in order to find out the position of the other planets at the time of our birth. Venus is the natural ruler of Taurus (and Libra as well), so that is your connection to Venus. Venus rules your Taurus Sun. If you heard that there is another planet that you are connected to according to your birth particulars, it may be the planet ruling your Ascendant. This is also considered the “chart ruler”.
In your case, your Ascendant is Cancer, and therefore your chart ruler would be the Moon. (The Moon rules Cancer). If you read that Mercury is in Taurus from April 21st to May 15th, that would have been true for only one particular year, and it certainly wasn’t the case for your year of birth. Your Mercury is in Gemini. If you feel that Mercury is a good fit for you, perhaps it is because Mercury is very much “at home” in the sign of Gemini. Mercury is Gemini’s ruler. With these sign positions in mind, you are now equipped to find the interpretations of the signs of the personal planets and your Ascendant on our site.
Probably the best way to do this is to go to the zodiac signs hub page, and then click on a sign, such as Taurus. On the Taurus page, you would read the Sun in Taurus paragraph and the Moon in Taurus paragraph. Then you could go the Gemini page and find the Mercury in Gemini paragraph. On the Cancer page, you can read the Mars in Cancer interpretation as well as the Ascendant in Cancer description. Finally, go to the Aries page and read the description for Venus in Aries. These are the interpretations that refer specifically to you.
Of course, there is a whole lot more to explore in your chart, but these interpretations will give you a fair understanding of some of the basics of your chart, and will bring you a little beyond Sun sign astrology.
To any of our readers: If you are having trouble determining the sign positions of the personal planets and luminaries (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars) and your Ascendant, do not hesitate to send an email with your birth information (including your birth date, time, and place), and we can give you the list.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: Can you offer some insight into my relationship? Hi Annie, I’m wondering if you can give me some insight into a relationship I recently started. (Full birth data given for both parties). Even though our interaction is recent, my strong feelings and pretty accurate intuition tell me that this relationship is going to be a significant one for the both of us. From first glance, there are some strong challenges present, but I know these are the best opportunities for growth and healing, which I wholeheartedly accept. If you could, please, include comments on these points that stand out to me: 1) Our individual ways of relating in our natal charts. Notice my Venus-Neptune opposition aligned on my Asc-Dsc axis which lines up with her Mars-Neptune Opposition? I feel that’s significant, along with other contact points in our chart. 2) Transits that we are individually experiencing right now that are affecting the way we relate. I’m going through Saturn square Sun, Saturn square Pluto, and Pluto square Saturn. The last 1.5 years have definitely been about structuring and responsibility for me! Especially challenging because I consider myself a strong Neptunian (very spiritual, and not always well equipped to deal with mundane practicality). For N, this seems like a very Neptunian time for her in terms of transits. Neptune opposition Sun/Saturn, transiting Neptune in 7th house, and even her Saturn square Moon. I can definitely see an escapist attitude emerging from her right now, which is frustrating for me, but I’m trying to be understanding and supportive without neglecting my needs. 3) Anything that stands out for you in our synastry. After reading your interesting articles on synastry and soulmate astrology, I’m especially curious about nodal, vertex, and chiron aspects. 4) Our composite chart – very strong aspects, as you will see!! Again, when I read the soulmate astrology article, lots of things there would seem to apply here. The obvious T-square is definitely a challenge, but the strong Pluto trines indicate transformation – which is great in my opinion. I think the composite Mars/Asc square Pluto mirroring N’s own Venus square Pluto is interesting….big ego challenges at work, and we both have strong personalities! So what are your impressions??? Many thanks for such a wonderful and informative service, — B
Annie’s Answer:
B,
From what I can see, the ties are very powerful indeed. I’d like to add to your list of standout features. One is that your “feminine” planets (Moon and Venus) oppose and conjunct N’s “masculine” planets (Sun and Mars, respectively). This may place you in a somewhat submissive role to her at times. It does not mean that you will do everything she says or anything of the sort, but it does suggest that you are more than likely in a receptive role.
Another strong tie that I see is that your respective Sun/Moon midpoints are square to each other. Having met, it would be very difficult to forget each other, even if you were to part. Nodal ties are also present in both synastry and the composite chart: in synastry, your Sun opposition Pluto is conjunct her nodal axis, and both her Moon and Jupiter trine your North Node (and your Mars which conjuncts your North Node); in the composite chart, the nodal axis is involved in the T-square, with the composite Moon conjunct the composite South Node. Regarding these nodal contacts, and especially your Sun-Pluto opposition aligned with her nodal axis, you may notice some resistance on her part in addition to the attraction. This relationship “promises” to be a powerful onea relationship that can never be tagged with the adjective “superficial” no matter how you look at it. Especially given the fact that it is a “Neptunian” time for her, you may notice her resistance more acutely, since she is unlikely to feel particularly grounded, directed, or decisive at this point in her life. And, I would expect that you would find her Neptunian in an ongoing manner, simply because her Neptune opposes your Venus and is conjunct your Descendant. This aspect may very well be the most challenging one in your association in my opinion. You are bound to face a fair amount of evasiveness in N.
I’ll take this opportunity to write a little about Venus in hard aspect to Neptune in synastry, which can be rather tricky, but certainly not unmanageable. In a very few cases, outright deception is involved with this aspect. However, in most relationships with this energy, conscious deception is not an issue. What can happen, however, is that the relationship starts off with a mystical and decidedly romantic air to it. You may have felt that you met “the one”, and you in particular may project too many qualities (often unrealistically wonderful ones!) onto N. She will likely be charmed by the attention, and may be inclined at times to feed your imagination in order to keep your devotion levels high. This is not a conscious attempt to deceive you. What can happen is that N promises more than she can give. If she eventually backs out, or slips away slowly, you can feel saddened and even slighted, feeling that N was misleading. Misunderstandings can be the result, and every attempt should be made to keep the dreams and visions of the relationship not only realistic, but also clear and defined. N does not want to hurt you, and this may be the motivating factor behind her tendency to avoid bursting your bubble. You should attempt to avoid putting N on a pedestal as well. The tendency to ignite in each other unrealistic hopes and dreams is very strong. Both of you must be able to distinguish fantasy from fact, and use the increased sensitivity and heightened imagination that you inspire in each other, without letting it cloud your ability to clearly and realistically see and understand each other.
If you would like to open a dialogue through email, let me know. We cannot possibly go into all the details in this column.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: Synastry or Composite?
I have read a composite from Astrodienst which seemed quite positive about
the relationship but the synastry that I have seen doesn’t seem to be as
positive. What am I supposed to look out for when looking at relationship
compatibility? Are there any things either in the synastry chart or
composite that tell you anything significant about this relationship? Are
there any overall patterns that I should be noticing? Please help. (Full birth data given).
–A
Annie’s Answer:
A,
When we are looking at the synastry between two charts, we are looking at how the individual energies of each person involved in the relationship interact with the other’s energies. A composite chart describes the relationship itself, and reveals how your relationship plays out when you are together, as a couple.
As you have probably figured out by now, relationship Astrology is complex. I took a look at the synastry between you and your partner, and I don’t believe that it is negative overall by any means. I don’t believe the composite chart is ideal either. The synastry between any two individuals involved in a relationship will contain what are considered “challenging” aspects. In fact, these challenges are necessary in order for growth to take place. We tend to be attracted to a certain level of challenge. If there were mostly “easy” aspects between two people, there may not be an impetus to relate to each other. Challenging aspects can be stimulating. Much will depend on the individuals involved and what they are comfortable with–and what they can take!
With an interchart aspect in synastry, the person whose outer planet (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto) is forming an aspect with the other’s personal planet (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, or Mars) generally “holds the cards”, so to speak, in terms of how the aspect will play out. Still, the person whose personal planet is involved plays a part as well.
Question from a Reader: How can we overcome the problem with jealousy in our relationship?
My question: We currently live approximately 45 min. away from each other. We get along very well, have much in common, and I feel we really love each other. The problem: He has a real problem with jealousy. I feel this is a control issue. He objects to me having any friends of the opposite sex. I know that my moon is opposition his pluto and this may cause the problem. What suggestion do you have to overcome this situation? I really want this relationship to work and to become more permanent.
(Full birth data supplied for both individuals)
–E
Annie’s Answer:
E,
Relationship astrology, or Synastry, is a very complex study. I cannot go into too much depth in this column, but you did touch upon a very important aspect in the synastry between your chart and that of your partner: Moon Opposition Pluto.
With an interchart aspect in synastry, the person whose outer planet (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto) is forming an aspect with the other’s personal planet (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, or Mars) generally “holds the cards”, so to speak, in terms of how the aspect will play out. Still, the person whose personal planet is involved plays a part as well.
In the case of you and your partner, your Moon opposes his Pluto (this is a very tight aspect, and thus especially significant). Your partner wields plenty of power over your emotions, and he will need to deal with this “power” constructively. You are certainly not powerless, and you can do much to help ease the situation as well.
When somebody has a planet closely aspecting our Moon, our basic sense of emotional security is affected. With his Pluto involved, your emotional security is very much tied up in him and you can feel somewhat emotionally dependent on him as a result. You will be especially vulnerable to any mood swing on his part, sometimes giving too much power to him because you feel somewhat like the child in the emotional chemistry between the two of you. This sensitivity can render you quite vulnerable to emotional blackmail on his part, simply because he may see your sensitivity/dependency as a weakness rather than a strength.
Your dependency on the relationship may ultimately weaken it, as he will have a keen awareness of your need for him. If he is not handling the energy well, he can easily take the upper hand when it comes to where your relationship is going. Something about him makes you feel insecure, as if part of you feels the relationship will end without warning and against your will. He makes you very aware of your own emotional dependencies and insecurities. His desire to control you stems from fear. You react emotionally in your relationship with him, and he cannot help but know how to “push your buttons”. Whether he uses his finely tuned awareness of your emotional psyche to help you or to control you is up to him. However, it would be wise for you to examine the emotions that this man brings out so effortlessly. Know that what he pulls out of you is PART of you, and that he can help you to heal some of your deeply seated wounds. He may not do this directly, but through your relationship with him, you will get in touch with the insecure child inside of you. Be aware that the more you acquiesce to him, the more emotionally dependent on him you become, the greater his tendency will be to want to maintain that control. Remember that it is not him as a person that is making you feel dependent–he is only a trigger for what lies within you. If you can learn about yourself through him, instead of thinking of him and your relationship with him as the answer to your problems, then you will be in a better position to control your own life.
What we tend to do when our personal planets are in strong aspect to the Pluto of significant people in our lives is to give our power away to them, thus opening ourselves up to manipulation, confusion, and dependencies. Learning to regain our sense of individuality and strength is vital to our own mental/emotional health, as well as to the health of our relationships.
–Annie
Question from a Reader: Will I always be this intense?
I have known that my Rising sign was in Scorpio for some time now and it has explained a lot about my personality. I don’t seem to portray the outgoing Gemini unless I’m in a comfortable setting with people I know. Otherwise I seem to have the personality of Scorpio most of the time. And I always wish I was more like my sun sign because it seems like Gemini’s have more fun. I’m more intense about everything and as I get older I’m trying to loosen up a bit more. Am I doomed to always being an intense person or will I ever be able to be a true happy go lucky Gemini? And if you notice anything else that might cause this in my chart I’d be interested in your perspective.
(Full birth data supplied)
–e
Annie’s Answer:
e,
After taking a look at your chart, I think there are definitely other factors behind your intensity/seriousness. The first thing that strikes me is your Mars-Saturn conjunction in the tenth house, which is opposite your Moon in the fourth. Your Moon also squares Mercury. Mars conjunct Saturn, especially in a “public” position of the chart (the tenth), offers a fair share of seriousness. With your Moon in tight aspect to this conjunction, it can be difficult for you to feel at ease in many situations. With Mercury in the seventh house, you might feel at your best when you are one-on-one, and that a special friend or partner brings out a more natural flow of communication. You also have Venus conjunct Jupiter in trine to Uranus rising. This configuration suggests a generous spirit, and some social warmth. When activated by transit at different parts of your life, you might be more “tuned in” to this easy and natural liveliness. By progression, your Ascendant sign will move to Sagittarius later on (in 2008 to be precise!) at which time you may experience a “new you” in terms of self-expression.
Interestingly, your Sun in Gemini is in the eighth house, which is the house associated with Scorpio! Also, Pluto (Scorpio’s ruler) makes plenty of aspects to your personal planets, including trines to both your Sun and Moon. This may be the reason why you resonate with Scorpio more than Gemini. The tendency to take things seriously is definitely marked in your chart, but you might find that you can transfer this quality to some degree to your work or hobbies, perhaps finding outlets for your intensity in areas like research. Accepting your tendency to be intense, and harnessing it as passion and enthusiasm for uncovering information, may be the key to “handling” these configurations. The trines in our charts often hold some answers to how we can channel some of our more intense aspects creatively. In your case, these “answers” can be found in Pluto and Neptune. Some of your talents may lie in writing, music, and hobbies or fields that require investigating. You may also come to realize that, for one, you are capable of quite a bit of spontaneity, and this aspect of your personality may feel like it’s in a bit of a dormant stage until it is activated by transit; secondly, your intensity, when applied constructively, will be appreciated by those around you and may not be quite as troublesome as you may think it is now. Some of us, especially those of us who have a prominent Saturn like yourself, tend to work “backwards”, with a serious, almost adult-like sense of responsibility that is most obvious in youth, but that relaxes as we age!
–Annie
Question from a Reader: What should be compared when assessing compatibility?
dear Annie (& Adam),
thank you for the wonderful, interesting & very insightful site! it is indeed such a pleasure going through the many pages which I spent hours reading.
I do have a question: I have read from other sources that, instead of matching sun signs to sun signs; it would be more appropriate to match the compatibility based on one’s sun sign to the other’s moon sign.
and what about matching the two ascendants together? eg cancer rising vs virgo rising
kind regards,
Ferne
(sun in Pisces)
Annie’s Answer:
Ferne,
Although we have sun sign compatibility interpretations on the site (they are not written by us), I am not a fan of these types of interpretations. They absolutely have merit, but they present such a tiny portion of the whole picture. Compatibility is as complex a topic as the study of individuals, perhaps more so because it involves comparing the energies of two individuals! When we stop at either Sun Sign astrology or Sun Sign compatibility, we are missing far too much.
However, Sun sign compatibility interpretations do have merit, as long as they are taken for what they are: just a small glimpse of the big picture. In my opinion, Sun signs should be compared with Sun signs, as well as Moon signs (as you’ve mentioned here), and the list goes on. The compatibility of Ascendant signs are also important. So, to me, it’s not a question of what should be compared to whatit’s a question of how deep you go in your compatibility studies.
I am currently working on comparing Venus signs. I have completed some of the paragraphs and they can be found here. I am writing these interpretations personally, and you’ll have to excuse the fact that they are not written in chronological order. I’d like to attribute it to my Sun conjunct Uranus! All of the signs should be completed in the next few weeks. The focus is on romance and love compatibility, and that is why I chose to focus on comparing Venus signs. However, you can use these interpretations for comparing Sun signs, Moon signs, or Ascendant signs as well, as long as you modify the interpretations for the energies you are comparing (Moon=emotions, etc.).
The further and deeper you go into the comparison of two charts, the more illuminating your conclusions will be!
–Annie
Question from a Reader: Please help me with a negative reading! Hi- I saw that you suggested the best free natal report could be found at Astrodienst. So, I entered my birth time (full birth data supplied) and I got a really scary report that I’m having a hard time dealing with now. It was the short Personal Forecast report starting April 22, 2004 that gave absolutely no positive insight just how unbelievably hard my life is about to be with people challenging me constantly “Disagreements may lead you to sever relationships…”, countless disputes, unforeseen obstacles popping up out of nowhere on a consistent basis so much so that I will be depressed and withdrawn and shouldn’t make any decisions. Now I’m sick to my stomach and just want to cry. I have no idea who is about to start confronting me and I’m just overwhelmed with fear. Is there no way that this can be avoided?
Please help me.
-S
Annie’s Answer:
Dear S,
I took a look at the report you found, and will attempt to help you figure it out. What you were reading was an interpretation of a Saturn transiting square to your Mercury. We all pass through these transits at different times in our lives, and I want to stress that it is not what we consider a dire transit by all means.
What commonly happens during this transit is a slowdown of sorts in communications. People often experience some minor frustrations with red tape and a few delays during this transit. Your normal pace may be slowed down for a number of reasons, but the trick to this transit lies in its “message”.
Saturn transits generally have what is traditionally associated with a fatherly reprimand. Saturn reminds us that life doesn’t always go exactly our way, but always offers us a new perspective. Sometimes we need to slow down a little and learn some patience. I will give you an example from my own life. When Saturn transited square to my Mercury, I broke a bone and was physically forced to slow down for a couple of months. Before I broke the bone, I was moving at a pace that was extremely intense and, caught up in that frantic lifestyle, I couldn’t see that I was scattering my energies. When I had the accident, I couldn’t believe that my life could slow down without serious consequences. While I recuperated, I had the time to see exactly why my life had been so hectic. I saw ways to improve my life, and perhaps more importantly, I learned that everything really worked out fine even though I was unable to work at the same speed that I had been working at. During the same period, I experienced some delays in both business and legal matters that certainly didn’t break me.
Of course, everyone will experience the transit in a unique way. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, we experience the transit more than once in our lives, and each time it happens, we undergo different events and learning experiences. In general, we learn that patience and determination certainly have their virtues!
–Annie
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