Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron Conjunction and Your Love Life

Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron Conjunction and Your Love Life

March 24, 2009

How will the upcoming Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron conjunction affect our relationships?

One of the significant astrological events in the year 2009 is a recurring Jupiter-Neptune conjunction, representing one of the major themes of the year. It first occurs on May 27th, and then again July 10 and December 21.

Chiron is closely involved with the Jupiter-Neptune conjunction on May 27th. Although not quite exact, it’s certainly close enough. In fact, both Neptune and Chiron at virtually the same degree of Aquarius turn retrograde at almost the same time–on May 29 and 30. Chiron will also be very close to Jupiter and Neptune on the next conjunction day, July 10th.

While this transit affects all of us, for some, it triggers romantic and relationship hotspots in the natal chart. If your Venus or Moon occupy any of the following points, the Jupiter-Chiron-Neptune transit will be in hard aspect to these points this year:

• 23-29 degrees Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, or Scorpio
• and, to a lesser degree, 8-14 Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn

Because we are dealing with outer planets that move relatively slowly, this transit can be viewed as “in effect” from now until the end of the year. The dates listed above should be seen as guideposts–in other words, don’t expect events to occur exactly on those dates. We can think of this transit as a theme for the next nine months or so.

Some of the themes I am about to discuss will occur for those whose Sun (probably more so for women) occupies the above positions, and also for those who will have Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron transiting their relationship houses (5th and 7th).

Themes of trust, forgiveness, and sacrifice are coming to the fore now in your close relationships.

The desire for an ideal relationship or partner can be all-consuming now. It’s important to note that this need or desire is at the root of relationship problems that might arise, because it may not be very clear that this is the case at the beginning of the transit. Adjusting our expectations can really help, but I don’t think it’s going to be easy.

Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in Aquarius is an immensely spiritual, idealistic combination. It can inspire great hope in our hearts, as well as perhaps impossible or inhuman expectations. Our desires for more on a spiritual level, to be the best that we can be, to help others and love as unconditionally as we can…all of these things are stimulated in a big way.

The main problem here is that we can completely overestimate what we, as mere mortals, are capable of, and what our partners or potential partners are capable of. Complete forgiveness, faith, and trust are wonderful ideals, but we fall short of them as hard as we may try. This year, many of us will dream that we can love others unconditionally, and that others can return that same kind of love.

For those of you whose romantic and emotional hotspots are triggered by this conjunction, the need to take care of yourself first and foremost is important now. Think of the safety speech we receive from airline stewardesses at the beginning of a flight. We are always told to put on the oxygen masks and life jackets ourselves before helping others to do the same. It’s not selfish — it’s practical. We cannot help save others without first making sure we are capable of doing so. If we can’t save ourselves, how can we be of any use to others?

Because of the potential for inflated optimism, we need to watch for taking foolish risks and for leaving ourselves vulnerable to disappointment. We should also watch for unknowingly (or in some cases, knowingly) deceiving others. High on what we think we are capable of, we might unintentionally mislead current or new partners.

We might be inclined to give too much of ourselves or of our resources in our partnerships, perhaps expecting to be appreciated for doing so, thereby setting ourselves up for disappointment. A “foolish risk” can be hard to define when it comes to relationships, of course, but an obvious example would be to give a new partner with a gambling problem a whole lot of money in an attempt to help him/her out of a jam.

The tendency to play savior can be strong now. An example scenario that we should watch for might be getting caught up in a very complicated relationship in which we need to make serious sacrifices for a partner. Perhaps the person is in a troubled marriage, is struggling with an addiction, is in love with someone else. We might also play victim and look for someone to save us. Problems in an existing partnership may seem glaring now, and we dream of a much better, more ideal setup, and we could subconsciously look for a new romantic interest to “save” us.

Our ability to trust our partners comes to the fore with this transit. Our ability to love someone unconditionally is a theme. Our own lovability, or how we perceive it, comes into play with this transit, particularly with Chiron involved. Remember that Chiron in mythology had extraordinary powers to heal others, but couldn’t heal himself. So, we should be prepared to deal with issues of our own self-esteem and how it affects our love relationships, and to deal with them in a big way.Complicated relationships might be more attractive to us now–ones in which there is a big imbalance. Remember that we are inclined to want to love unconditionally, which is not a bad thing if we work on doing so in a slow and steady manner, with realistic expectations. However, there is nothing realistic or moderate about this Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron configuration! Saturn and Pluto in earth signs could help. Earth signs and a prominent Saturn in our own natal charts could also help. But it’s important to be aware of the inclination to go over the top, to expect far too much of ourselves and of others. We might need to frequently stop and ask ourselves if our faith is misplaced. We might need to take off the rose-colored glasses from time to time just to be sure we are doing what’s best for us. If the desire to make big sacrifices for someone is strong now, be sure that you are doing it without expectation of reward, even if that reward is merely appreciation. If you recognize your (very human, by the way) need to be appreciated for all of your efforts and sacrifices, then also recognize that you are taking a risk. If you are not prepared to take that kind of risk, then insist a partner meets you halfway.

Some of us will be meeting people onto whom we might project all of our lofty hopes and visions of an ideal partner. In other words, we might meet someone new and see (or embellish) qualities that we very much want to see in a partner, failing to see the very human flaws.

Thus, for any new relationship that is formed under this transit, it’s important to allow it to withstand the test of time (or at least the duration of this transit) before making life-changing decisions, such as marriage or leaving a current partner.

For those affected by the transit who are already “coupled”, a tendency to play peacemaker with a partner is strong now.  You have to check and double-check whether a person is meeting you halfway. Playing the savior or the victim is very tempting now. A strategy to avoid the possibility of eventual disillusionment and disappointment is to make sure that your partner is truly as “into” this relationship as you are.

People who are deceived by a partner rarely never receive any clues to his or her deceptive behavior along the way. The tendency to gloss over these clues is with us, and should be watched for.

An awareness of negative patterns in relationships from the past can come now, or can be stimulated by events that occur in our relationships this year. It’s time to stop repeating them.

For existing relationships, it’s a little difficult to generalize about what this transit will mean without background on the current relationship dynamics. However, I can definitely say that for partnerships in which there is a history of jealousy or other big “trust” issues, giving freedom and treating others with respect and trust will be major themes now.

For example, a client who has dealt with her partner’s infidelity a few years ago is revisiting that whole matter big time right now. It’s Venus retrograde, so that can be part of it. But I am guessing this transit to her natal Venus is going to be a potent one. She is now struggling with the need to give her partner freedom. She stayed with her husband after discovering his unfaithfulness, but has dealt with it by watching his every move since. He let this happen so that she could learn to trust him again, but it got to the point where he feels completely stifled and she feels that she’s caught up in a very bad addiction (to trailing his every move). She isn’t happy, he isn’t happy. Now she’s decided that she is quitting the whole “stalking thing” cold turkey. What will come of this? It’s hard to say. Perhaps she will succeed at forgiving him. On the other hand, she might also come to a realization that she just can’t forgive him. Whatever the case may be, she has come up with very big (Jupiter) plans to heal (Chiron) and forgive (Neptune).

Another potential theme is a sudden and strong desire to treat a lover as a friend, or to be treated the same way. It’s hard to do, let’s face it. Being a lover and a friend (with the same person) is not always easy to maintain. There might be a lot of people entering into open relationships, or changing their current traditional relationships into open ones, or deciding on entertaining threesomes for example, during this transit. It works for some, but not everyone. Others might decide to enter “friends with benefits” style relationships, even if they have never had the inclination or were previously completely opposed to this kind of “detached attachment” with a sexual partner. Under the influence of this Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron in humanitarian Aquarius transit, we might think we are able to  manage these types of relationships. The important thing to remember is that this transit is bound to give us inflated ideas of what we are capable of handling. Not everyone is capable of Aquarian-style brotherly love with a romantic partner. You might want to wait until the transit passes to find out if you are still wanting to experiment with alternative partnership arrangements.

For those of you whose Venus and Moon are harmonizing with the Jupiter-Neptune-Chiron conjunction, you are likely to encounter many of the themes explored above, but in a less dramatic and problematic manner.