My middle child, a 15 year old girl, is a Pisces with Moon in Aries. Her Aries Moon is conjunct Venus (also in Aries), and both planets conjunct my Saturn. I have to be aware of my Saturnian role with her. I look at it in this manner: One of my roles in her life is to teach her, in so many ways, to temper the more difficult expressions of her Moon-Venus in Aries, but I have to be careful not to stomp upon her enthusiasm in the process.

Every now and again she has “emotional emergencies” as I like to think of them as. When something bothers her, or she wants something, her first instinct is to freak out. She has to solve the problem right now. She has to get the thing that she wants ASAP. If she can’t find something, the whole household has to be involved in order to track it down, and she doesn’t always treat everyone in a grateful manner as she enlists (demands) our help in the search!

As a baby and young child, people often commented on how easy she was, describing her as gentle, patient, feminine, and quiet. I still get that kind of feedback from teachers and parents of her friends. She is a quiet person (although she speaks rather loudly when she does speak), and she’s not aggressive at all in her interactions out and about. At home, she is a leader in the household. While she needs her space and keeps to herself a fair amount, when she’s in the mood for fun, she is truly the “life of the party” in the family room. She’s hilarious and fun, outspoken and direct, and always taking the lead. She animates us, gets us the best seats for concerts (she’s totally on top of who’s coming when, pre-sales, and any other news), and is quick to do new things without instruction. She gets annoyed easily, but gets over it just as quickly. In a very general sense, I can certainly say that she is a Pisces to the rest of the world, and an Aries at home. Obviously she brings both her Sun and Moon to the table wherever she is, but one dominates in different situations. And, this is not unique to her, of course. We all express our Moon signs more when we’re comfortable, with family or others very close to us.

With her Moon-Venus in Aries on my Saturn in Aries, I have great respect for her Aries qualities that come so naturally to her. What I have to be careful of is that I let her know this, because in my Saturnian role, I might get too caught up in tempering the more negative expression of the sign–of “teaching” her or correcting her–and forget to (or even feel uncomfortable doing so) praise her for her spunk.

While Saturn conjunctions in synastry are not as challenging as squares and oppositions, they’re not as easy as sextiles and trines either. With the conjunction, the Saturn person can always seem to be the “heavy”–the one who rains on the personal planet’s parade. If we as parents are always playing the heavy role, the child is likely to be frustrated, to rebel, and to not listen to our “lessons”. With the Saturn contacts, we should be especially mindful of this.

Over the years, I have come to discover that I had often responded to my daughter’s emotional emergencies with too much reasonableness or even a holier than thou attitude. I eventually realized that this only frustrated her more. An Aries Moon person does not want to listen to reason when she/he is in a tizzy!

Where Saturn is positioned in our chart–by sign, house, and aspect–often shows qualities that don’t come naturally to us. We might secretly admire these qualities but have a hard time expressing them spontaneously, and this feeling can sometimes express itself in jealousy.

As a teenager, my Scorpio mother always seemed to me to reduce any bad situation to a situation of jealousy. I thought she went overboard with these theories back then, but grew to agree with her. She basically said that any time someone treats you poorly for no particular reason, or feels the need to nitpick and criticize you often, they’re jealous of you. They’re feeling some kind of lack in themselves. Difficult Saturn contacts in synastry very often point to jealous behaviors on the part of the Saturn person, and sometimes the not-so-difficult Saturn contacts have shades of this. The Saturn person feels a lack in him/herself, sees it expressed so easily in the personal planet person, and reactions can be critical and sometimes downright nasty.

Not many parents want to believe they can be jealous of a child’s behavior, and might instead think of their criticisms as constructive. A lot of our teachings and criticisms do stem from love, but some don’t, and that’s something to consider, especially when Saturn is strongly contacting a child’s personal planets.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of a poorly handled Saturn in synastry interaction, or a jealous person whose Saturn was in hard aspect to one of your personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, or Mars), you’ll know how depressing and demotivating it can be. With my Mars in Sagittarius, I love to laugh and when I do it’s hearty and sometimes a bit out of control. A person whose Saturn squared my Mars seemed to think that it was self-indulgent, and I will tell you, there is nothing more sobering than to begin to enjoy a good laugh and to be faced with a person who looks at you like you’re absolutely crazy for doing so. He even told me that “some people’s laughs are addictive…yours isn’t”.

When my daughter was born, I had a conversation with my sister, who has the same Moon-Venus conjunction in Aries (and they both have Leo rising). I told my sister that my daughter’s chart was in some distinct ways similar to hers. My sister is very straightforward and immediately replied with, “You’re going to drive her crazy when she’s a teenager.” When asked a big WHY?, she laughed and told me, “You’re just too reasonable…you’re going to tell her to calm down at all the wrong moments…and your slow responses, poor kid”.  Yep, she was right–that’s exactly what happened when my daughter hit puberty, and it took a bit of time to figure out that even though it’s my Saturn on her Moon-Venus, I’m not the only “teacher” in the equation. She has a lot to teach me about my own fears and lacks (or perceptions of lack). I have to say that it’s easier to learn from your own child than a sibling or anyone else for that matter, I guess because there is more tolerance there, and less of an inclination to compete. My other daughter, like me, has Saturn in Aries conjunct her sister’s Moon-Venus, and the interplays between the two girls are not quite as polished! My Aries Moon daughter often tells my Aries Saturn daughter things like, “Get over yourself!”, “just do it”, and “what’s the big deal”, while my Aries Saturn daughter asks her sister why she has to be “so rude” and “so insensitive”.

I chose the title “conscious parenting” because that’s what relationship astrology can help us with–we are more conscious of why we’re reacting a certain way to a person when it’s clear they’re triggering certain hotspots in our own chart. Still, I don’t think it’s possible, or even healthy, to practice conscious parenting, or conscious relating in general, all the time. In fact, some of the most revealing lessons in life come from messy periods of trial and error. And, in fact, this is one of the lessons of Aries. Sometimes it’s better to jump in and experience things, fully confident that if we do make mistakes, we’ll be able to handle the consequences and even turn them into an advantage.

Aries is ruled by fiery Mars, and is an active, positive, and assertive sign. Her appeal is direct, straightforward, and naive. Her main challenge is to learn about others’ needs.

Her main gemstone is the diamond. Diamonds are especially appropriate worn as earrings because the body part ruled by Aries is the head. Diamonds are associated with strength, innocence, and purity–some of the key positive qualities associated with Aries.

Her main color is red. Aries generally looks best in white, black, and red. Her choice of wardrobe is neither flowery nor frilly, as she tends to prefer sporty styles. While she is rarely subtle, she is usually not overdone either. One of Aries’ strongest characteristics–enthusiasm for all that is new–can come through in her style and wardrobe choices. She is all for trying something new, but she often loses interest in her passions quickly. So, that new outfit,  piece of jewelry, or beauty product that she just had to have may not hold her interest for long before the next new thing comes along! Aries isn’t fond of any style that takes too long to maintain–fussing over details isn’t her forte.

When it comes to attraction, Aries’ secret weapon is positivity. Even the shyer Aries seem to have an inner confidence that you do really want her. She is quite sure that she can win you over, and there is an almost innocent aura about her that can be a huge turn-on. Innocent is probably not the word you’d use to describe her in general; but her confidence and enthusiasm radiate an appealingly direct, sincere, and simple personality that can be hard to resist.

In a pinch, Aries will rarely come across as desperate or needy. If cornered, her confidence that you’ll forgive her for any perceived wrongdoing usually saves the day. How can you disappoint, let alone turn down, a person who is so sure you couldn’t possibly think she’s anything less than perfect for you? She doesn’t apologize; she simply moves forward and expects you will too. The old adage that “opposites attract” doesn’t seem to hold true for Aries, at least in the “strength of character” department. She is not one to fall for a sob story. She is attracted to a person with an obvious backbone and a large sense of adventure and fun, just like her. She is not known as the most compassionate person around–she tends to have a “get over yourself” attitude to people hung up on their problems. You might learn a little something from her, and that is that the present and future count much more than the past. Her motto may as well be: “make the most of what comes, and the least of what goes”.

Aries really does love the hunt and the chase. This doesn’t mean she will never settle down, but it does mean you have to do your share to keep things exciting. When she gets all fired up about something or someone, she is completely passionate and right there in the moment. If you are the object of her desire, you are greater than life–she lives and breathes you, at least for the time being. Whether this passion lasts or not is the question. Keep it exciting and it probably will.

Her sincere, straight-to-the-point, and direct approach is hard to resist. If you are the one who she is passionate about right now, there will be no mistake in your mind that she wants you. Caught up in her passion and enthusiasm, she trusts you completely. She’s also sure that she’s right for you. In love, she is not a typical romantic. She doesn’t require wining and dining. She definitely needs attention, but if you make yourself too available or too easy, she could begin to feel stifled.

Sexually, Aries is very physical. Sex is almost like a sport for her, particularly if she has Moon and/or Mars in Aries. Aries rather naturally falls into a dominant or at least leading role, but she will do whatever comes naturally at the moment, so you can never really tie her down to a particular category. Her passion is not of the brooding, sensual variety. It is more of a “right here, right now” passion that might better be described as enthusiasm. She loves adventurous sex, whether it’s trying something new or doing it somewhere, anywhere, other than a bed.

With Neptune in Aquarius for the past few years, Aries has been opening herself up to, and experimenting with, different definitions of friendship. Many Aries have been exploring “friendship with benefits” in recent years. Saturn’s entrance into her opposite sign, Libra, starting in October 2009 will likely bring a more serious tone to her view of partnership. Her career is going to be taking on perhaps disproportionate importance in her life in the coming years as well.

More to come: