Comments on: Astrology and Conscious Parenting: Saturn in Synastry

By: Donna Cunningham

Donna Cunningham — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:33:01 +0000

Hello, Annie, I love this piece! As always, very sensitively done. My Saturn in Gemini is conjunct my father’s Saturn, which is also conjunct his father’s Saturn. So I and my father were both born on our father’s Saturn return. I adored my grandfather as a baby and toddler and actually thought he was my dad because my own father was away in the war.

I am wondering if you’d allow me to reprint this on Skywriter. I don’t have any articles on parenting and this is an exceptional one. Donna Cunningham

By: Ocean

Ocean — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:40:46 +0000

This was a really beautiful and thought-provoking post. I’ve always had a troubled relationship with my parents, and hard Saturn aspects to go along. I was raised in rigid, cold, authoritarian household with lots of discipline and not much love. My dad is much older, and big into discipline and the whole “children should be seen and not heard” thing. His Saturn is smack dab on my ascendant. I definitely felt stifled by him.
My mother was also older when I was born. Her Saturn is smack dab on my Moon, Venus, and Chiron in the 6th. She was always hypercritical, controlling, cold, and manipulative–especially after I hit puberty.

By: Ann

Ann — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:57:45 +0000

My mothers saturn is in scoprio and is conjuction my sun-pluto conjuction which is in scoprio its falls in her 12th house but my 4th house

my saturn conjuctions my dad’s sun not 100% about this birthtime but I guessed that he is a scorpio asendent around the around 9 degrees becasue my sun definitly falls in his 12th house I know for sure that his sun is in my 5th house but my saturn is it his 3rd or 2nd house i think more 2nd becasue hes money oriented towareds me such as he gives me money almost to make up for not being there for me more than anyone eles in my family. He also uses money to have control over me in some repects I feel.

My mother I can’t feel love from her (even thos I think she does) but I love her very much she believes doing things that consume her time for me and not affections are worth more now time is important but I rather have love.

Sorry I was rambling but any insights you picked up on would be nice.

By: cafeastro

cafeastro — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:21:37 +0000

Lucy, I love looking at patterns in families, and most of them you don’t even have to look for, per se–they just pop out at you. I was really surprised when I found strong correlations between my chart and my grandmother’s, for example. I looked at her in a different light. In general, she was a dutiful person, but she absolutely had to work, as much as her husband didn’t want her to. Her job wasn’t high profile in any way, but she loved it and wouldn’t give it up. It makes me wonder what I would have done if I were born in that era. When my first child was born in 1991, I had asked my husband to put in my newborn son’s birth data (I had the old Matrix BlueStar software), print up the chart, and bring it back to me at the hospital. My husband didn’t know much at all about astrology, yet he told me that he thought he was printing out my chart because it looked so similar. Truth is, the signs were all different, but the overall pattern, with house emphases, was so similar to mine that even he noticed it. It’s a lot of fun and helpful as well to see certain signatures that you’ve “inherited” and passed on.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:08:23 +0000

It’s so true- I looked at my younger sister’s chart compared to my mom’s after I left my first comment, and in fact their synastry is quite different, but equally intense. My sister’s Libra Sun is conjunct my mom’s Neptune, her Leo Moon is conjunct my mom’s Pluto-Ceres conjunction, and my mom’s Aries Moon is conjunct my sister’s Mars. It’s EXTREMELY revealing of their dynamic, which is far and away from the way my mom and I have typically related to each other all my life. So when my mom is like, “I can’t understand why you tell me everything but she never tells me anything, except to cop attitude and yell,” I’m like, “Uh… I can?”

It’s also interesting to me to see how families pass down astrological placements, like my mom’s Ascendant becoming my sister’s Moon and my dad’s Moon in Pisces (I think he has a Moon in Pisces, anyway) becoming my Sun, and your daughter’s Leo Ascendant and Moon-Venus in Aries being inherited from your sister (so to speak). Even when there seems to be worlds of difference and misunderstandings between family members, if you look at the charts, sometimes you can see that certain family members are actually more alike, or complementary, than you would immediately think. (For instance, I have no fire, but tons of water. My mom has no water, but tons of fire. Another layer to our mythically intense bond!) That also bridges some of the gaps.

By: cafeastro

cafeastro — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:50:26 +0000

I am fascinated with it as well. I feel that I am able to deal with certain situations and behaviors with my kids a little better than I would if I didn’t have use of the language and symbology of astrology to understand some of the more complex interactions between us.

You bring up an excellent point–as adults, using astrology and synastry to better understand our relationships with our parents can be very revealing and even therapeutic. Just knowing, for example, that your mother’s Saturn squares your Moon can help you to understand why she might have treated you with more emotional distance than she did your siblings. Just an example! Or, in your case, knowing that your mom’s Uranus is in your first and close to your Moon and Ascendant, it can help you to understand that one of the roles she is playing in your life is to shake you up a bit, shock you perhaps, keep you on your toes, teach you to lose some of your inhibitions, etc. It’s great that your mom is recognizing that, if you use it the right way, astrology can be therapy. The way I like to look at it, in your case, your mother’s influence on you is almost like a transit of Saturn to your 4th, and your influence on her is similar to a Pluto transit to her 4th (amongst many other things), and both can be pretty intense!

By: cafeastro

cafeastro — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:39:31 +0000

Thank you, NR!

By: Lucy

Lucy — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 01:58:26 +0000

I love this post! I’m fascinated by parent-child synastry. While I agree with you that conscious parenting probably isn’t even healthy to do all the time, it at least forces you to see an upside to a complex aspect. So instead of being That Saturn who stifles her energy, you could use your Saturn on your daughter’s Moon-Venus to help reinforce the good qualities of Saturn. Boundaries. Self-respect. Consistency. (Which any fifteen-year-old can use to great effect!)

My mother’s Saturn in Leo is my 4th House, and my Pluto in Scorpio is in her 4th House. Her Uranus is Gemini is also in my 1st House, widely conjunct my Moon and Ascendant. Not to mention that I have a Scorpio stellium and Pluto as a final dispositor, and she has an Aries Moon, and Pluto and Ceres EXACTLY CONJUNCT in Leo in her 1st House. Yeah. Some serious symbiotic Demeter-and-Persephone sh*t going on there. So as you can well imagine, I’m all for using the charts to navigate appropriate boundaries between parents and children. (My mom’s all for therapy, but she totally trusts my astrological insights. We’ve struck a balance!)

By: NR

NR — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:09:38 +0000

What a wise and sensitive post!