Ideal Man for a Woman
What a woman finds Attractive in a man
The Astrology of Attraction
Astrology can offer us a few clues as to what types of people men and women are attracted to. What follows is a simplistic model for determining the "ideal" man for a woman.
The position of Mars in a woman's chart, by sign.
We at Cafe Astrology tend to shy away from some of the traditional "rules" of attraction. Traditionally, astrologers have interpreted the position and condition of Venus in the natal chart differently depending on the gender of the native. The reason for treating Venus in men's and women's chart differently is based on the idea that women may tend to "disown" the qualities of Mars in her own chart. Since the energies of Mars have to go somewhere, when a woman doesn't "own", or identify with, her Mars, the energies would be projected onto the men he meets and relates with. Similarly, men are thought to more easily relate to and "own" Mars qualities. The concept of projection is an interesting and valid one. However, while it may hold true with Mars to some extent today, we prefer not to attach gender bias to Venus and Mars. In our experience, men and women tend to take on the role of Venus in their relationships in approximately equal measure.
However, the position of Mars by sign in a woman's chart does tend to offer some clues as to what she will find attractive in a man. This is because Mars reveals what turns us on to some degree, and represents traditionally masculine qualities. (Venus helps to round out the picture in terms of sexual attraction and style). If you don't know the sign position of Mars, look it up in these tables--all you need is a birth date!
If a woman's Mars is in Aries, she is often attracted to a strong, independent, and forthright man, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, confident, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy men are not usually the most attractive men to these women, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types. Men who don't beat around the bush, who state what they want, and who display a certain level of confidence are ideal.
If a woman's Mars is in Taurus, she is often attracted to men who possess a stable, secure, and very strong aura about them. Meat-and-potatoes types are definitely these women's "cup of tea". Unstable, overly intellectual, or "flaky" men are simply not what these women would define "real men". These women like their men simple to please, traditionally masculine, and strong. They often are especially turned on by men who work with their hands (as opposed to "suits"), men who can build things, and sexually simple but sensual men.
If a woman's Mars is in Gemini, intelligence ranks very high on her list of ideal qualities in a man. An athletic or tomboyish look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred. Wittiness is a huge turn-on for these women. Versatility, liveliness, and playfulness are qualities in men that these women find devastatingly attractive. They're not especially impressed with what they might consider "less evolved" types of men who display more typical, or traditional, masculine traits. Depressed or boring types won't do. These women want to be stimulated, and their brains are their biggest sexual organs.
If a woman's Mars is in Cancer, she may prefer the "sensitive type" of man who is compassionate, sensitive, and protective. These women sometimes are attracted to temperamental sorts, finding moodiness in a man rather intriguing. They want men with "layers" (remember Shrek?). However, they are not into the type of "sensitive" men that Mars in Pisces women are most attracted to. In fact, they generally want men who are strong and traditionally masculine. Generally, these women prefer men who are physically strong or at least look that way--remember that they love to feel protected.
If a woman's Mars is in Leo, she may be attracted to men who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified, confident aura is usually appealing to these women. These women are more inclined to enjoy men who possess a rather bold, confident manner--and style! Playfulness and fun are very important to these women, and the uptight type or overly serious man is not going to do it for them. Stinginess is a huge turn-off, too. These women want their men generous, dignified, and confident. These women do want their men to be a little possessive and jealous, as it makes them feel more alive, wanted, and attractive.
If a woman's Mars is in Virgo, an appealing man to her is usually an understated, rather simple appearance without too much glamour or ostentatiousness. Healthy, natural, and clean are most appealing physical qualities, and a certain amount of intelligence as well as a modest, sensible approach to life. These women are turned off by men who are overly confident, bossy, or unkind. They are looking for perceptive men who are kind and helpful. Competency is important, but these women aren't big on men who are show-offs. A quietly competent aura is best.
If a woman's Mars is in Libra, she is most attracted to men with understated charm, good manners, and a pleasing and balanced appearance. Coarseness or rudeness is often a turn-off, and so is independence! These women prefer men who are cooperative and who are willing to please. Romantic men are a huge turn-on, and these women truly appreciate classy sorts.
If a woman's Mars is in Scorpio, a complicated, dark, powerful, and passionate man is the biggest turn-on. This woman wants a man with "layers"--one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue her. She is especially attracted to men who ooze sensuality, who are perhaps a little dark and mysterious (even brooding), and who have a magnetic and powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for these women--flighty, superficial, and indifferent types need not apply! These women generally do enjoy a certain level of possessiveness in a man
If a woman's Mars is in Sagittarius, she is most impressed with a man who is playful, fun, intelligent, and honest. An energetic, happy aura in a man is often most appealing. Joking around is a must, and a huge turn-on for these women! They want to have a good time, and to have long conversations with their men as well. They are not especially attracted to men who are overly groomed, generally don't like too much "decoration" or men who put on airs. A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with these women--in fact, it's preferred. A man's status is not of huge interest to these women--they are looking for honest guys whose egos aren't tied up in what they do for a living or how they look.
If a woman's Mars is in Capricorn, she is generally attracted to competent men, perhaps well-established business types or otherwise accomplished men. She doesn't necessarily go for status, but she does want a man who has an aura of competence about him. She is looking for a certain level of security, and is unimpressed with men who are drifters, irresponsible, or flighty. A stable, directed man with goals in life and a responsible, even serious, attitude to life is important to this woman.
If a woman's Mars is in Aquarius, she can be most impressed by men who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. She wants an interesting man. He can certainly be handsome, but boring? Hardly. A man with a brain is important, although she won't be attracted to a brainy type. Somebody who is perceptive, a little unconventional, and perhaps somewhat aloof is most attractive. Rigid or boring types simply won't do.
If a woman's Mars is in Pisces, she is often impressed with a man who is sensitive, compassionate, and intriguingly complicated. Lacking in confidence is just fine, and so is a touch of helplessness. A "starving artist" type may be appealing, or a man who is downtrodden in some way, as these women enjoy men who have a distinct soft side. The strong, independent types are not turn-ons for these women.
Note that a woman's Sun sign certainly factors into the "equation" for an ideal man as well as Mars.
Get the full scoop with a Love Styles: About Her Report. The report averages 25 pages long, and it's all about a woman's styles in love, in relationship, and in bed.
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See our Synastry article for more advanced relationship analysis techniques.
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Determine the positions of Venus and Mars by sign and learn the sexual secrets of your partner, and yourself!
If you don't know the positions of Venus and Mars, refer to these tables:
OR click here to find the positions of all your planets.